Days like this.....

As a therapist I know that everyone has days like this, but as a person when they hit it SUCKS!!

It's one of those rainy days where I'm so stressed and sad all I want to do is cry and call for my mom except my mom is emotionally unavailable. So then I would call for my best friend/sister but she lives hundreds of miles away. So here I sit typing at my computer wishing there was someone who could relate and listen perhaps even hold my hand or give me a hug.

As I sit here typing, I put my daughter in her swing to nap and I hate that I had to do that. I don't know why it bothers me that much but I feel awful for having to have the swing put her to sleep. It's interesting how the smallest things can feel so big and horrible.

Mommy's Sweet Little Girl

I think it's amazing how sweet my little girl is. Even when she is shrieking (her newest talent), poopie and overtired, she still is the sweetest little girl in my eyes.

Becoming a mom has been my greatest joy...but it's also been one of my biggest challenges. Not because of the morning sickness, sleepless nights or colicky screaming but because I am the daughter of a borderline mother. One days when I would lose my patience with my precious angel, I would start crying afterward wondering if I would continue the cycle of abuse. Or days when my daughter was doing something sweet/cute/funny and I would want to share it with someone whom I could talk with. On days, when my mother-in-law is inappropriate and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Those have been the most challenging days since becoming a mom. I think one of the worst things in the world is for a girl to grow up with an emotionally neglectful/abusive mom.

I don't have a mom; not really anyways. Now my daughter doesn't have a grandma. When does the pain end?

Introducing Elizabeth Ann!

Kevin and I are very happy to announce the birth of our little girl Elizabeth Ann on March 24, 2001 @ 6:23pm. She was 6lbs 6oz and 19 inches long.